He Didn't Miss
by Saphire Ravven8
Summary: Rated for language,violence,etc. Let me know if rating needs upping.Don't report me. Set after Aug.5th ep.What if Alcazar's shooter didn't miss?What if he shot Courtney by accident?Who will be her hero in the end?Jax or Jason? CJ... that's so convinient..
1. Chapter 1

Set after the August 5th episode. What if Lorenzo's shooter hadn't missed when he shattered Courtney's window? What if she had moved, just as he fired?

"Mm, good juice," Jax commented, half in sarcasm, half in truth. Courtney shot him a wry smile and set the small the shelf behind his head. "So, are you going to give me a sponge bath?" He grinned. Courtney laughed.

"No, your nurse was unavailable so there's a guy coming over who I'm sure would be more than happy to help you out." She smiled at him. He shot her a wide eyed look before laughing cautiously.

"A guy?" He raised his eyebrows in disbelief and a small amount of amusement.

"Uh-huh," she smiled again.

A gun man, hired by Lorenzo Alcazar (A/N: Miss-spelled??) to miss the target lay on his stomach across from Courtney's window, taking careful aim. His cocked the gun as quietly as possible and adjusted his aim ever so slightly and fired.

Courtney shifted to her left just as the bullet shattered the glass pane of the window into infinitesimal pieces and fell to the ground, bringing Jax down with her. Jax winced as pain shot through his leg and he raised his head above the bead cautiously.

"That was close," he commented obliviously and looked down as he heard Courtney's labored breathing and gasps of pain. "Courtney?" he frowned in concern.

"Ja-Jax," she whispered and pulled her hand away from her side enough to see a large bullet wound and her shirt soaked in the deep crimson of her blood.

"Oh my God, you've been shot!" he exclaimed, stating the obvious, which Courtney would've pointed out to him if she weren't struggling to breathe through the pain.

"Ja-Jax," she whimpered again, laying her hand back over the wound and fighting to keep her eyes open.

"Oh God," Jax looked around frantically, realizing that the phone was too far away and his injured leg wouldn't let him get up. "Hold on Courtney," he grabbed the top sheet off the bed and balled it up, gently removing her blood covered hand and pushing the cloth against the wound. "Hold on," he repeated. "HELP!!" He shouted, eyes wild, feeling helpless in his inability to rise. "SOMEBODY HELP!!" He heard Courtney's pitiful whimpers of pain and gasping breaths as he hovered over her, brushing stray locks of hair away from her cringing features.

The door thudded open in a shower splinters and Jason burst through what was left of the frame. "Courtney!" he shouted, concern flaring inside him when she didn't answer him with her usual reprimanding yells about destroying her door. "Courtney, are you alright? Where are you?!"

"Jason! In here!" He heard Jax yell from the direction of his ex-wife's bedroom, jealousy and rage coursed through him as he stalked toward the bedroom, gun still in poised hands. "Hurry! She's been hit!" Jax shouted for him, voice clearly edged in growing panic. Jason's eyes widened at his last statement and any envy and anger that he had felt not moments before dropped away like a boulder over a cliff as he ran the rest of the way to her bedroom.

"Oh my God," he breathed at the sight that was laid out before him as he rounded the corner. He rushed to her side and dropped to his knees beside her. "Courtney," he called to her as her eyelids fluttered and her eyes grew cloudy. He grasped her hand tightly in his, wincing as he felt it slide around with her own blood. "Fight Courtney, fight it! Stay awake!" At his words her eyes got a bit clearer and she blinked several times.

"Jas-on?" she gasped, forehead wrinkling in pain, hand gripping his tightly.

"It's okay, I'm here, you just hold on for me okay?" He spoke gently to her, reassuringly. Jax looked on in wonder at how a killer like Jason could possibly sound so kind. He didn't like Jason, but at this particular moment he was glad that the assassin was there. Courtney relaxed slightly under Jason's gentle hands as he stroked her cheek and hair.

"Have you called an ambulance?" he asked Jax suddenly, taking him by surprise and his normally charismatic and cool voice faltered.

'N-no, I couldn't reach the phone." He stammered slightly, ashamed at his uselessness. Jason shot him a brief look of annoyance and anger before he whipped out his cellular and called 911. A few minutes later he flicked it shut, turning again to Courtney as her strength faltered and her grip on his hand weakened. "The ambulance should be here in a minute, Courtney, hang on." He said to her quietly. He stoked her hair softly as she whimpered again and writhed in pain. "Shh," he whispered, applying a bit more pressure to her wound, blood pooling up under his hand. She gasped as pain coursed through her body and she almost shut her eyes.

Jason squeezed her hand tightly, almost painfully, "No, Courtney, open your eyes." He ordered her, though gently, his voice demanding and yet soft and concerned. "Fight it Courtney, you're stronger than this, I know you are." His words seemed to either encourage or insult her in such a way that she wanted to prove that she was strong, either way, her eyes fluttered back open and her breathing became more ragged, an occasional pained cough escaping her quivering lips. "Good girl, Courtney, keep it up, stay with me. You'll be okay."

"How bad is it?" Jax asked, frowning as another whimper slipped from her mouth. Jason glanced up at him and for a second Jax saw fear and concern and pain in his eyes as he responded.

"Bad," was his only response before his eyes fell again upon Courtney's quaking body. "Get that pillow and put it under her head." He ordered. "Gently." Jax complied, not really bothering to think about how Jason was giving him orders. "Grab that blanket from the end of the bed, we have to keep her warm or she'll go into shock." Again, Jax complied without question, watching as Jason carefully draped the blanket over Courtney, pulling it up under her chin, leaving only the bullet-wound area and the hand that he was holding exposed.

The shaking in her body slowly subsided as the blanket's warmth seeped into her, only shuddering occasionally.

Jason kept up his almost constant words of reassurance until the paramedics piled into the room two minutes later. Jason almost gently helped Jax to sit on the edge of the bed before immediately going and hovering a few feet away from where the medics were working on Courtney.

"How is she?" Jason asked as they gently lifted her onto a stretcher and began to wheel her out the door.

"Her condition is critical, Mr. Morgan, but you did really well, keeping her awake and warm. I just hope it was worth it." One of the paramedics replied.

"Mr. Jax and I would like to ride with her, as Mr. Jax is unable to drive himself and I am her ex-husband." Jason stated rather regally. Jax almost let out a snort of amusement, but managed to contain himself, under the circumstances. Much to his surprise the medics agreed to his request and Jason and another burly medic helped him to the elevator and out to the waiting ambulance. They climbed quickly into the back seat, making themselves as scarce as possible while the medics worked on her on the way to the hospital.

They burst through the emergency room doors and walked swiftly to a set of double doors leading to the O.R., the medics calling out for doctor's assistance. They quickly whisked Courtney away on her stretcher and Jax and Jason were left gaping after her in fear and dismay.

Monica came rapidly towards them and laid a hand on Jason's shoulder, startling him from his thoughts.

"What happened?" She asked in concern. "Is it Emily?" Jason shook his head, reassuring her.

"No, not Emily." He paused, struggling with his own inner demons at the thought of Courtney's bullet-ridden form lying upon the floor, pleading with him with her wide blue eyes. "It's Cou...It's Courtney...She's been shot." He finished at last. Monica gasped and clasped a hand over her mouth in shock.

"But who? Why?" She asked in surprise. Jason just shook his head that he didn't know why. He knew who though, for the most part. Faith or Alcazar. One of those two had hurt the woman that he...that he...used to love...no...still did love...he wondered why he could admit it to himself, but not to the 'her' in question. He shook away the thought and turned to his mother.

"Can you...Can you please..." He glanced suggestively at the O.R.'s swinging doors. She caught his drift and nodded.

"I'll see what I can find out or do to help. I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything." She smiled reassuring at him, then at Jax. "Nice job staying off that leg, Mr. Jax." She said in disapproval. He smiled sheepishly and sat down gingerly in one of the hard plastic chairs.

"Thanks," Jason said quietly, giving her a small smile.

"Don't thank me yet." She replied, turning and leaving them to their own devices.

Jason eased himself onto a chair and set his elbows on his knees, covering his face with his hands with a sigh. He stood again quickly and began pacing uneasily. Courtney had taken a devastating bullet wound and it was his fault. If he had never brought her into his world she would never have had to deal with any of this. If he had just left the business when she asked he would've still been with her and could have protected her. He had been so selfish. He was always selfish, he realized with a stab of guilt. Everyone had always tried to help him, tried to be there for him and his only thoughts had ever been for himself. Every decision that he made in his life since his accident was selfish and self-motivated. Oh God, he was such a fool.

A fool to push away the people that loved him most just because he couldn't remember. A fool to join Sonny's business. A fool to fall for his boss's baby sister. A fool to bring her into a world that she didn't know or understand. A world that she hated so deeply that she was willingly to give him up just to escape its dark, evil tendrils. A fool to not go with her, a fool to not comply with her pleads to leave the mob behind and be with her forever. Why couldn't he have just let go of all the illegalities of his messed up life and go with her? Why did he feel so devoted to a man that made him kill for basically no reason? A man who could barely keep his own family together through his jealousy and panic attacks and possessive tendencies. Why the hell couldn't he just leave it all behind? For her. For them.

She was back there dying, the love of his life, the woman that he married, the woman who had been willing to risk it all to be with him, the woman who had sat by and watched him run out the door at the slightest whim from her brother and kill people or supervise an incoming or outgoing shipment of illegal drugs, a woman who, upon seeing the scene of mass murder at the warehouse he was in as Sonny's liaison, ran straight there to see if her love was one of nameless dead. She loved him so completely, so unconditionally, and he had repaid her with nothing. Nothing but betrayal and pain and fear. He didn't deserve her, he had never deserved her. But he loved her so much... so very deeply and completely, a feeling that wouldn't go away, no matter how hard he tried to make it.

Jason looked up and locked his gaze on a spot on the ceiling above him and closed his eyes, concentrating harder than he ever thought possible and he prayed. Prayed like Sonny did to get his undeserved miracles. Michael's life was Michael's miracle. That little boy deserved to live. He was a good kid, a good son, even despite his regrettable excuse for a father, A.J. Pushing that thought aside Jason concentrated harder.

_God, please, if you hear me, I haven't asked you for anything for a long time. Sometimes I wonder if you're even there at all. But Michael's survival gives me hope that you might hear my plea. So, here it is. Please, please, don't take Courtney. She's a good person, kind, generous; she has no much good left in her to do. She deserves so much better than to die by someone whose vendetta is not against her, but against her brother and myself. I swear...God, I swear I'll quit, I'll never kill or disobey the law again if you just please, don't take her from me; from the world. I still love her. She deserves so much better than what I could offer her while in the mob. I'll leave, I swear, if you just leave her here with me. Please..._

Jax watched in silence as Jason stood very still, head tilted back slightly, eyes closed. He had never seen anyone stand that still before, it was kind of creepy, he decided with a small inward smile.

TO BE CONTINUED...

A/N: Review and tell me what you think and keep in mind that I'm one for the drama. Hence why I watch GH...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Yeah yeah, I own nothing...

A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!!! Did I mention how SORRY I am that this chap took so long. I've been juggling school and a job and homework and my computer being busted on account of my father's computer-illiterate-messings. So, yeah, enjoy, if ur still reading. If u are, thanks for waiting!!

Monica strode into the operating room garbed in white smock, face mask and surgical gloves. She came up beside the table and cringed. It was worse than she'd thought. "How can I help?" She asked the surgeon.

"You can't," he replied. "We've got enough hands; any more would only get in the way."

"Okay, well then, what're her chances?" The surgeon shot her a strange look. "She's my daughter-in-law." Monica explained, stretching the truth a little since Jason and Courtney were, technically, divorced.

"Oh, well, right now? Not great. She's losing blood from somewhere but we can't figure out where and until we get the blood stopped we can't repair the damage. Plus there may be internal bleeding that we haven't seen yet. My prognosis as of right now is one in ten, maybe two. We're doing the best we can."

"I know you are; thank you. Page me if you need me." She laid a gentle hand on Courtney's hair before turning and walking out.

Monica met Jason and Jax in the waiting room a few minutes later. Jason rose silently from his seat, piercing eyes asking his silent questions. Monica downcast her eyes for a moment before quickly lifting his eyes back to her face.

"It doesn't look good, Jason. They can't seem to find the source of the bleeding and they don't know how much damage the bullet has done. I'd be in there but I'd only be in the way and, believe me, that's not what's best for Courtney right now." Jason swallowed hard.

_Now would be a good time for that prayer to kick in,_ he thought. "Thanks." Suddenly realization dawned. "I have to call Carly and Sonny, and her father...I should've called earlier..." His voice trailed off as he wandered away towards the pay phone to make his calls.

Carly sat snuggled up against Sonny's chest contently as he stroked her hair lovingly. His cell phone rang and she groaned in annoyance and protest as he moved to answer it. "Let it ring." She suggested, knowing full well that he wouldn't do that.

"It could be important." He smiled and kissed her creased brow, flipping the phone open and putting it up to his ear. "Yeah," his usual welcome to callers. "What?" He rubbed a hand over his face, a sign of concern. "How bad is it?" Carly leaned over to try to listen.

"What's wrong?" She whispered. He held up a finger to silence her, listening intently.

"Oh God," he breathed. "Okay, we're on our way..." he almost hung up before quickly bringing the phone back to his ear, knowing that Jason never hung up first. "Hey Jase... thanks." He closed the flip phone gently, shock evident on his dark features. He blew out a breath before turning to Carly's concerned face.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

"It's Courtney," he replied quietly, sounding surprised at his own words. "She was shot."

"What!?" Carly gasped in horror. "When? Why?"

"I don't know, Jason said his surveillance equipment picked up the gunshot about a half an hour ago. But the thing that gets me is why Courtney? She's not even associated with the business anymore." Carly shrugged and pulled on her high heels.

"We've gotta be there with her." She stated, fixing the sleeve on her one-sleeved-one-strapped, off –the-shoulder, deep burgundy top and shook the hem of her long black pants out around her heels until they brushed against the floor. She picked up her purse and moved towards the door, Sonny, in his jet-black, tailored Armani suit, not far behind.

Carly ran into the ER waiting room, heels clicking rapidly against the tile floor, dragging Sonny behind her. Jason stood up and greeted them silently with a quick hug for Carly and a brotherly back-pat for Sonny.

"How is she?" Carly asked anxiously.

"She's still in surgery-"Jason began as Mike came running up.

"Where is she? What happened?" He asked hastily, looking panicked and flushed.

"She's with the doctors." Jason replied. "Monica says that it doesn't look good. They can't figure out where she's bleeding from and if they don't stop it..." his voice trailed off, but he didn't need to finish his statement. He and Sonny had suffered enough bullet wounds to know the outcome of a serious one, so did Carly and Mike, though the latter didn't really know from experience.

"How did this happen? Mike asked after several long moments of silence.

"Someone shot through her bedroom window." Jax answered, startling people after his long silence. Most of them hadn't even known that he was there. "But I don't think that the shooter was aiming for her, or otherwise she'd be dead already."

"What do you mean?" Mike asked.

"A hired assassin doesn't miss, especially not with a shot like the one that Courtney obviously presented to him." Jason answered for him. "I think he's right."

"So my sister is in there dying because some bastard hit a target that he wasn't even aiming for?" Sonny gritted furiously. "We need to find out who did this. Jason you-"

"No, I'm staying here." Jason interrupted him firmly. "At least until I know she's okay." Sonny didn't say anything for a minute before finally agreeing.

"Jason-," He began

"No." Jason interrupted again, glaring Sonny down. Carly nudged him gently and shot him a look. Sonny complied.

"I'll call Max and have him get someone on it." He said. Jason met his eyes gratefully and Carly kissed Sonny's cheek.

"Hurry back." She whispered in his ear. He nodded and smiled softy.

Mike blew out an exasperated breath and slumped down beside Jax, rubbing a hand over his face, something that Sonny did often in times of stress. Jason noticed the gesture and looked over at Carly, sharing knowing looks. Mike and Sonny would never admit how alike they were.

"I can't believe you refused an order from Sonny." Jax commented in awe and thinly veiled admiration.

"This is more important." Jason replied. _Way more important._

_TO BE CONTINUED..._

A/N: ::GASP:: BLATENT DISOBENDIENCE FROM JASON!!! WOW!! Suprisingly calm reaction from Sonny but I'd like to think he'd understand, under the circumstances... Hope u liked it.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything but the plot, otherwise I'd make half of those guys on GH mine...

A/N: So sorry it took so long to update, been wicked busy with school and work and fighting both to have some semblance of a life of my very own. I'm stretched for time and my Fiction Writing class is giving me and icreasing amount of writer's block...plot stealing pain in the arse...But I'll be sad when it's over. Anys, I know this chapter is rather short for the amount of time I made you wait, but it's the best i can do right now and I wanted to let you know that I'm still alive.

A/N Continued: So Thanks SOO much to all of my lovely reviewers: Jase Lover, AngelTears123, theblondeone07, me-luv-GH, Cena's Girl, Lily, warrior of the shadow, Liz, angle445, jmluver14, CalJenn (are you CaliJenn too, dontyousassmemister828(love the name, btw), leprechaun-chick17, Angel1178, michelle20072000, ImJustKidding89, Soapy2199, Kathryn, Journey Fan, Lizabella, and Ashton 91. I love you all and thanks for stickin with me! I hope it's worth it! On with the story!

Monica slipped through the doors of the ER and tiptoed over to Courtney's friends and family. Jax was sleeping with his forehead in his hand, Mike had fallen asleep on a couch across the room, Sonny was sleeping with Carly on another couch, Carly's head on his chest and her fingers intertwined with his, Jason was nowhere to be seen. Monica hesitated, unsure of whether or not to wake them. It had been over six hours since Courtney was brought in. Monica had just decided to turn around when she felt a hand grasp her shoulder. She gasped and whirled around, meeting Jason's inquiring eyes.

"Sorry," he mumbled, steadying her as she caught her breath. Carly had started awake at the sound of Monica's gasp. A mother's trained ears granted her light sleep when necessary. She turned slightly and rubbed Sonny's arm. He mumbled something and pried open his eyes. Upon seeing Monica, he woke up fully and awakened Jax and Mike. "How is she?" Jason asked once everyone was conscious.

"She's out of surgery and has been placed in the ICU. Her condition is currently stable, but it hasn't held yet. We are, however, still hoping for the best as far as that's concerned. Anyways, her condition is still very serious; there was a lot of internal damage done. All we can do now is wait; I'm sorry, that's all I've got for right now."

"Can we see her?" Carly asked.

"Yes, but only one at a time and only for a few minutes. What she needs now is rest." The others nodded at her words and Monica turned to leave.

"Hey, Mo-," Jason called after her. She turned her head back to him. "Thank you," he continued awkwardly. She blinked in surprise. Had he been about to call her… "Mom"? No…that couldn't be…he hadn't called her that since the accident…Damn. Sometimes she hated that her name started with the same two letters as Mom.

"Don't thank me yet." She smiled slightly and continued on her way.

The small band of people made their way up to the ICU and shuffled their feet uncomfortably in front of Courtney's door for several minutes before Sonny finally cleared his throat, breaking the silence.

"Who's going in first?" He asked quietly.

"Jason is," Carly announced before anyone else could speak.

"Me?" he asked, startled. "Why me?"

"Just go Jase." She replied evenly, knowing that he wanted to go first with all his heart but would never say it. He nodded and pushed through the door.

The breath caught in his throat as his eyes fell upon her. How could she look so different? She was so pale, golden blonde hair only making her look whiter. Her lips were the only hint at color on her face, shockingly pink in their lightness against the snow of her skin. Long eyelashes lay against her cheeks over closed eyes. And IV was taped in her arm and a heart monitor beeped steadily in the gloomy silence of her white-walled chamber. Jason inhaled deeply and let it out in a sigh before going to her.

He sank into a chair at her bedside and gingerly took her hand in his. She was cold, skin icy against the warmth of his own flesh, proof of the blood loss. He let out another shuddering breath. He couldn't stand seeing her like this: so helpless, reliant on others for survival. Courtney had always hated dependency as much as he did. It was one of the things they'd always had in common. _ Talk to her, idiot, you're not going to do any good just sitting here,_ he told himself sternly.

"Hey Courtney…" He scrubbed at his short hair, messing it up more than it usually was. "God, how did it come to this? You were trying to get out. You _were_ out… Why would someone drag you back in? And like this? The worst way possible. I'm so sorry, Courtney. I never meant to drag you down this deep."

He paused, sighing against and brushing the backs of his knuckles over her pale cheek. He kissed her hand gently before continuing. "I made a promise to God, you know. Yeah, I know, I sound like Sonny, right? But I told Him that I'd give up the Business if he let you live. You probably don't believe me, huh?" He laughed bitterly, knowing that she would've laughed with him. "I think I meant it, Courtney, I really do. I love you…so much…those feelings never went away. And if I quit then you and I could be free. Free to be together like we always wanted, without the danger and the bodyguards and the guns. Just us." He exhaled slowly.

"Maybe you don't want that anymore. I don't know. What I do know is that if you make it through this, I'll do my best to make you happy, to love you the way I should've before...if it's still what you want.

"Don't leave me Courtney. Even if you wake up to go running back to Jax," Jason said his name bitterly, as if it burned his tongue to say it. "Then I guess I'll live with that. But I'll do it outside the business, because if you live, I'm through with all of it. And that's a promise, and you know I never lie."

He got up from the chair, leaned down and kissed her forehead, then walked out of the room, straight past the crowd by the door, and out of eyesight. The others looked at each other, perplexed, for a moment, before Mike slipped into the room. Then Sonny, then Carly, and last went Jax, rather awkwardly, shuffling past her family with rebellious eyes and a determined grimace on his face. He would not let them intimidate him.

Jason slipped like a shadow into the hospital church. He went to the front and lit a candle for Courtney before sliding back into the darkest corner. He knelt and squeezed his eyes shut. _You heard my promise. You know what I'm willing to give up for her. Whether she comes back to me or not, the world deserves to have her in it. Don't you dare take her away. Last chance to prove yourself here, God. Don't screw with my faith again. This may be the only chance you've got to get it back._

**_TO BE CONTINUED... _**

A/N: Hope you liked it! Review to let me know if you did!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hey all, sorry this chapter is kinda short, but I'd rather it be short and update while I have the chance than to make you wait for all of eternity. So, here it is, this is all I've got written so far, so bear with me if the next post takes a while. I've got a vacation from HS coming up soon, so maybe I'll get some writing done. Let me know how you like the fic so far. much love all! Thanks for your reviews and support!

Sonny's lead enforcer slipped out of the little chapel, no more than a wisp of a shadow in the bustle of the hospital. The stairway to the roof beckoned him to its comforting escape to the air above. He answered its call and trudged wearily up the stairs, sighing gratefully when the cool wind hit his face. The outside, he inhaled deeply the scent of summer's fade and fall's approach. Autumn was coming early this year. In his t-shirt he suppressed the chilled shiver that ran down his spine. He didn't have his jacket, it was sitting in his apartment, where'd he'd left it after the man monitoring Courtney's apartment had called him. Jason ignored the bite of cold against his paled flesh and watched the city lights twinkling in the growing darkness. The view over Port Charles from here was amazing at night, everything aglow with life and light and mystique. The city held hidden darknesses and hidden lights, some that even the more observational of people might never see. Jason wondered what the city hid from him, what terrors and joys hid in the shadows.

Jason squeezed his eyes shut and stretched forward, leaning his forehead on the cool stone of the roof's retaining wall, for a moment considering never going back down. The notion quickly faded at a flash of Courtney's bright smile in his mind. No. He couldn't stay. She needed him still, even if she couldn't say it. _Just a few minutes more,_ he thought as he sat upon a bench on the roof, leaning his head against the wall and closing his eyes.

_Jason,_ a voice called to him faintly. _Jason._

"Courtney?" Jason eyes flashed around the rooftop, grinding to a dead halt as a wispy figure cloaked in light and fog stepped forward. Blonde hair swirled past brilliant blue eyes. "Are you? No. You can't be-."

_No, I'm not dead, my love._ Courtney's voice floated toward him as if on an unfelt breeze. _You may not feel it, but I am holding on to you with everything I've got. You keep me here, Jason. You._

"Why are you here? Are you dying? I need to be with you!" Jason leapt from his seat, but felt invisible hands restraining him.

_I am still with you._ Was her simple reply. _But I'm scared. _ Jason noticed that, for the first time, her alabaster skin was stretched in lines of fear. _Sometimes I can feel myself slipping away. I don't want to slip away, Jason. I'm trying so hard not to._

"Courtney…" Jason couldn't find words. What was going on here? He couldn't possibly be seeing her. Things like this only happened on TV and in fairy tales.

_Hold on to me Jason…Hold on to me… _Courtney's ethereal voice faded as did her ghostly visage.

"Courtney! No, don't leave! Come back!" Jason shouted, running after her paling glow.

_I'm still with you, Jase. Hold on to me…_ And she was gone, nothing more than spots in his vision.

"COURTNEY!" He shouted, waking with a jolt from his slumped over position on the bench. His eyes flew open and searched wildly for a sign of his unnerving encounter._ Just a dream_, he told himself, rubbing his face with shaking hands. He blew out a shuddering breath and shoved his hands into his pockets and heading for the door back inside. With once last glance around, he laid his hand on the knob. "I'm holdin', Courtney. I'm holding." He whispered and disappeared into the stairwell.

Carly leaned against Sonny's chest, resting her head in the curve of his shoulder. She sighed and he slid an arm around her waist and laid a hand on her leg. Carly tilted her head and looked up into his shadowed eyes. He kissed her temple lightly and leaned his forehead against hers. It was a marvelous display of affection considering the location and lack of privacy. They were, after all, seated in General Hospital's waiting room anxiously awaiting updates on his sister's condition.

"Jason," she sat up quickly as the enforcer walked into the little side area. She embraced him tightly. "Where did you go? I was getting worried."

I'm fine. I just needed to take a walk, you know, take a step back." Carly nodded in understanding and released him. "Any news on Courtney?"

Carly shook her head no and Jason sighed and resigned himself to semi-patient chair sitting. "This sucks," he snapped quietly, soft voice startling the others around him.

"Yeah, Jase," Carly rubbed his knee gently. "It really does."

Jason leaned his head on his hands and sighed, fighting the desire to kick something in frustration. Jax, perhaps? That could prove amusing. He smiled slightly at the thought before banishing it regretfully. Jax was a rich, pompous, egomaniacal piece of flesh but he had been rather respectfully of the others' space through this whole thing; knowing when to back off when necessary. For that, Jason was thankful.

"Jason?" The enforcer's head snapped up at the sound of Monica's voice. He almost leaped from his chair and strode forward to meet her. She smiled slightly and he waited with baited breath, knowing that that gesture could be interpreted two ways, one of hope, on of something sad that she wished she didn't have to tell them. He hoped with all of his heart that it was the former rather than the latter. "I've got news about Courtney."

TO BE CONTINUED...


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Okay, so this chapter is a bit longer. I know you've all been waiting to see what Monica's news is about Courtney, so, here it is. I hope it was worth the wait. it's anti-climactic at the moment, but something'll happen to shake things up. Hehe.

Disclaimer: you know the deal. I don't own it.

"I've got news about Courtney."

"Is she alright?'

"Well, 'Alright' is a matter of opinion, I suppose," Monica chuckled. "But she's conscious, groggy, but conscious, and that's a start."

"She's awake?" Jason just wanted to make sure he'd heard her right.

"Yes, Jason, she is. But she's very tired and she needs her rest, so I'll permit two people in to see her at first, then, if I think she's up to it, I'll consider letting another in. Oh, and those two people, one at a time. Speak softly and don't upset her. She's still in serious condition and we need to be gentle with her."

The others nodded in understanding. Nobody wanted to upset Courtney; they just wanted to know that she would be okay and this seemed to be a turn for the better.

"Sooo….who's gonna go?" Mike asked slowly, almost afraid that the tentative question would cause an argument. No one spoke for a long time. Monica's eyes shifted between them all.

"Carly." Jason said shortly, a no-argument tone to his soft voice. Carly eyed him as if she were about to protest, then though better of it upon seeing the look in his eyes. She nodded silently, and then glanced around, knowing the question that no one wanted to pose. Who would follow? The thing was, everyone knew the answer. Jason. It was that simple. If not for him, Courtney would probably have bled to death before Jax could've reached a phone. Jason would follow Carly. The words were never spoken but it was known by all who stood in that waiting room.

"Come on, Carly." Monica said at long last, breaking the tense silence that had fallen. She led the woman she wasn't exactly fond of into Courtney's room. "Remember, speak softly. Try not to make or let her move too much." Carly, again, nodded wordlessly as slipped into the silent and dark room.

"Court?" Carly whispered, sitting in the chair beside the bed. The blonde head on the pillow shifted to face her, eyes barely open. A tiny sound escaped chapped lips as she tried to speak. Carly shushed her gently and brushed wisps of hair off of her forehead. "Shh, you don't have to talk. Just relax. Everything's going to be okay."

"C-Carly," was her mumbled response.

"Shh, I told you not to try and talk. You have to rest now, more than ever." Tears formed in the corners of the older woman's eyes. "You've had us scared half to death, you know that? What'd you go and get shot for?" Carly sniffled as a droplet rolled from her eye to her chin and fell on the hand that she had over Courtney's. "Felt like I was losing my sister."

Carly smiled as Courtney weakly squeezed her hand. "What happened?" The blonde asked, blue eyes hazy with pain medication.

Carly hesitated. "I'm not entirely sure. Jason'll know, I'm sure he'll tell you when he comes in." Courtney nodded, heart beating a bit quicker. Jason was there. Everything really was going to be alright. Carly stood, knowing that it was Jason whom Courtney wanted to see.

"I'll send him in," she promised, leaning down to kiss her sister's forehead before quietly leaving the room to retrieve the Enforcer. When she found him, she nodded in the hospital room's direction and he nodded back, striding forward, face unreadable as he walked through the doorway.

Jason slid into the room silently and hesitated. What if she didn't want him there? What if it was Jax that she truly wanted to see? The thought made his stomach twist into nauseating little knots. He squeezed his eyes shut, took a deep breath, and looked at the woman of the bed before him. Her eyes were closed, heavy lids covering startlingly blue eyes, long lashes gracing pale cheeks. Courtney; his heart ached at the sight of her. The steady beeping of the heart monitor serving only as a reminder of the shooting he hadn't been able to stop.

Suddenly, as if she could feel his eyes upon her, Courtney stirred. She had been trying to stay awake, knowing that Carly would be sending Jason in to her, but the drugs were working against her. "Jason…" She whispered, reaching a shaking hand out to him, and in that instant, Jason knew that his fears had been uncalled for, unnecessary. In an instant, his fears shriveled away and he went to her, taking her hand. Their fingers slid together as if they were always meant to be joined, as if he was always meant to be there to take her hand when she was too weak to get to him.

Jason sat on the edge of her bed, fighting away the moisture that came and prickled in the corners of his eyes. He leaned down and pressed his lips onto her forehead, thumb stroking the back of her hand as he pulled back to look at her. She smiled at him, it was feeble and lacked its usual warming brilliance, but it was a smile none-the-less, and that was enough for him. He smiled back, though it couldn't quite reach the lingering fears from that morning and the pain of guilt in his eyes.

"What happened, Jason?" She asked slowly. Jason hesitated, not sure if now was the right time to say that she'd been shot simply because she was Sonny Corintho's sister. In the end, he decided that she needed to know. She _wanted _to know.

"Someone shot you," He replied, equally as slow. She opened her mouth to ask her next question but he interrupted with the answer. "I don't know who. Not yet." At the last part, his voice and eyes grew hard with anger

"You will."

"I will." Courtney smiled slightly at his hardened response. It was a defense mechanism for him, this harsh exterior. He was afraid for her. She could see it in the way he looked at her; as if she would break if he touched her, or held her hand too hard. She reached up and touched his cheek with a slim, graceful hand.

"I'm okay Jase." His face snapped up to hers at this, eyes boring into hers. That simple statement broke down the barriers that he had spent the last several minutes in the waiting room building. She read him as though he were a book in a public library. The tears returned to his eyes, threatening to spill, despite his greatest efforts.

"I thought I'd lost you." He admitted; Jason mentally berated himself for letting his voice sound so fragile. "For good this time." She reached for his hand and pulled it up to touch her face.

"I'm right here." There was a pause as that realization finally descended upon him; touching her, hearing her speak, she would be alright after all. But it didn't stop his next words from sounding as shaky as they did when he spoke them.

"There was blood…._everywhere_…I got to your apartment and the blood was _everywhere_."

"Jase-."

"I couldn't tell, at first, where you'd been shot or even if you were still breathing. I felt like I'd died…" The last admission was almost inaudible, but Courtney heard, her big heart breaking for him as she reached her arms around his neck and he bent to hold her to him. They stayed like that for a long time; her arms around his shoulders, and his gentle holding her, fingers stroking her hair.

"I still love you." He admitted in a hesitant whisper and her shoulder's stiffened in his embrace. Jason's heart froze as he waited for her reaction.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hi guys, I know this chapter is pretty short, but I wanted to at least put a little more up before I get wrapped up in studying for finals. Look on the brightside, once I'm out for summer, I'll have more time to write and update. Won't that be a loevly change from my monthy postings? Please read and review, I really truly do appreciate it! Much love to my faithful and patient fans.

Disc: I own nothing

Chapter 6:

Courtney's silence seemed to speak volumes to him as he retracted his hold on her and backed away. "Jason," she tried to explain her reaction but he raised a shaking hand to silence her.

"No, it's okay…It was stupid of me to think you would've waited…that you would have held on this long…" Courtney tried to speak again. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have said anything…I'll…just-um-go…"

"Jason!" Courtney raised her voice to reach him as his hand fell upon the doorknob. His head drooped and his shoulders sagged. He had so hoped to make a clean getaway after this mortification. Slowly, reluctantly, he turned back to her, his eyes filled with heartbreak and sadness. "You know, you should really let a girl talk before you jump to conclusions." She sounded out of breath and her face was scrunched up in pain as she flopped back down onto her pillows. Jason went to her and help her resettle herself, frowning as she hissed through her teeth as waves of pain washed across her abdomen.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have upset. Monica said I shouldn't make you move." He spoke quickly, hiding the shaking in his voice. Her breathy statement had sparked a glimmer a hope within him. Maybe he had jumped to conclusions after all?

"Jase-," She began, laying her hand over his as he leaned over her on the bed. His eyes softened as he looked down upon her as they always did for her. "You caught me off guard. Surprised me, that's all. I just never expected to hear those words from you again…not after I ran out on you."

"You had every reason to. My life is dangerous."

"It is. But my love for you should've been strong enough to see past that. I took the easy out, Jason, and I broke both of our hearts in the process."

"It's okay…"

"No, it isn't. Jason," she reached up and touched his cheek again. "I-aghhh…" she bent forward, clutching her side in pain. Her breath became gaspy and short.

"Courtney?" Jason frowned in concern, holding her upright as she groaned. She pulled her arm away and it was covered in blood. "Courtney!" He exclaimed. "Oh my God! Oh God, this is all my fault." In his mind he was frantically searching for what to do. It was obvious, but his brain wouldn't think properly. "Monica!" He dashed for the door. "I'm gonna get Monica, hang on, Courtney, I'll be right back." He threw himself headlong into the corridor, shouting his mother's name.

A few seconds later, Monica, Jason, and two other doctors flooded into the room. "Jason. Get out. You can't be in here right now."

"But-."

"Go! I'll handle this! I'll come get you when we figure out what happened." Reluctantly, Jason followed his mother's orders and backed out of the room calling a final 'be strong' to Courtney before shutting the door.

He backed out of the door and straight into an apprehensive Carly and Co. Carly spun him and grasped his shoulders tightly. "What happened!"

"We were talking, she sat upright too fast, then she just kind of, I don't but she's bleeding…" His abridged version, told to protect his heart from the words he'd said to her; his admission of love.

"Oh my god…" Carly breathed, flopping into a chair and covering her face with her hands.

"I second your 'oh my god' and raise a 'Jesus Christ'." Mike quipped, following suite.

TO BE CONTINUED:

A/N: I know I left you hanging again, but that's all I've got as of right now. Review and let me know how you want things to turn out. Jason or Jax? Life or Death (due to complications w/ her injury)? I'd love to hear any ideaS/ suggestions that you have, otherwise this fic is almost over 'cuz I've got very little left to write about if Court lives. Trust me, i already know who she's endng up with. But you don't. Who do yopu think it'll be? dumdumDUMM hahaha...(Sorry, it's late and I'm a little bit crazy. Aren't we all?)


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hi all! Thank you soooo much to all of you who reviewed. And look! I didn't take a month this time! Aren't you all so very proud of me. Updates should come faster now that school's out.

Please read and review! THANKS!

Disclaimer: yea yea… grumblegrumble

Chapter 7: One Final Word of Goodbye

He backed out of the door and straight into an apprehensive Carly and Co. Carly spun him and grasped his shoulders tightly. "What happened!"

"We were talking, she sat upright too fast, then she just kind of, I don't but she's bleeding…" His abridged version, told to protect his heart from the words he'd said to her; his admission of love.

"Oh my god…" Carly breathed, flopping into a chair and covering her face with her hands.

"I second your 'oh my god' and raise you a 'Jesus Christ'." Mike quipped, following suite.

"I shouldn't have gone in there. I hurt her. This is my fault." Jason mumbled so that no one could hear him. Looking at the frowning faces around him, Jason did the only thing he could think of, he fled. Not the running, obvious, kind of fleeing, but the getting up, walking out of sight slowly, _then_ running, kind.

Back to the roof he ran, feeling like it was the only place he could breathe. More than breathe, he really just wanted to throw himself over the edge. He had hurt her. Again. How many times could he hurt her before it stopped or he left her alone? He didn't want to hurt her anymore. And if leaving was the only way he could stop her pain, then it would have to be done. Soon. As soon as he knew if she would be okay.

Jason sat back on the now-familiar bench and squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing them tiredly. It was dark in the city, almost all of the lights now extinguished. He flipped back his sleeve and squinted at his watch. Two AM. Wow. It had been almost twenty-four hours since she'd been shot. Since her relations with him and Sonny had nearly killed her.

Lost in his thoughts, Jason jumped when his cell phone rang. "Yeah," He said shortly, his typical response.

"It was Alcazar." It was Max. "He hired the shooter. The shooter was supposed to miss the target. I.E.: Courtney. It was supposed to be a taunt for Sonny, not an actual hit. But it was definitely Alcazar."

"Thanks," Jason replied and abruptly hung up. It wasn't rudeness; it was just the way it worked. Max was used to it by now. He had worked for Sonny long enough to know what to expect.

Jason inhaled deeply, holding it for a few seconds, before slowly releasing the breath. He knew it, he knew it was Alcazar. Forcing down the rage that bubbled up inside him, he took another calming breath before taking a final glance at the ledge surrounding the rooftop and the city below before going back downstairs.

"It was Alcazar," Jason shot at Sonny as he slammed back into the waiting room. Sonny's head snapped up and flaming eyes leveled at Jason.

"What?" He snarled.

"Alcazar. Enemy number one. Ordered the non-hit on Courtney."

"I should've kno-... Wait, "Non-hit"? What do you mean "non-hit"?" Sonny asked, confusion written in bold letters across his face.

"The shooter was paid to _miss_. It was supposed to be a taunt, no actual injury involved. Shooter's aim must've been screwed up somehow. Courtney probably moved at just the wrong second. I guess, in hindsight, it could be labeled an accidental shooting on Alcazar's part."

"Accident or not, Alcazar paid someone to shoot through my baby sister's apartment window. That is unacceptable. Something will have to be done to discourage taking such an action in the future. A very painful discouragement." Sonny ground his teeth angrily.

"I'll handle it." Jason replied immediately. Sonny looked taken aback for a moment before nodding.

"Monica!" Carly's apprehensive exclamation turned the hit man and the mob boss to face the doctor. "How is she?"

"She's fine. She just pulled a few stitches, nothing to panic about."

"Are you sure?" Jason asked nervously.

"Jason, have some faith, I am, after all, a professional. We just stitched her back up. She's fine, I promise." Monica smiled at him and touched his arm lightly, it was a comforting gesture. Jason smiled back and briefly laid his hand over hers before pulling away.

Monica grinned inwardly at this brief connection between mother and son; it was small, but it was the best connection she's had with him since his accident. She would take it any way it came with Jason.

"Thank you…" Jason said softly, his gratitude clear upon his face. "Tell Courtney that I meant everything I said to her… and that I'm sorry I keep hurting her. It won't happen anymore. I won't let it. It ends now." Jason turned to walk away but Monica's hand gripping his arm stopped him. He turned back to her, sadness and infinite regret showing in his eyes.

"What do you mean? It ends now, what does that mean, Jason?" Monica sounded on the verge of panic. What was he trying to say? What was he about to do? He gently pulled out of her grasp and backed away, kissing Carly on the cheek as he went. A last goodbye.

"Stay out of trouble," he whispered in his best friend's ear. "Look after Courtney for me." He smiled and raised his voice for Monica to hear, pressing the down button for the elevator. "Thank you for everything you've done…" He backed through the elevator door and pressed the close-door button. "Mom." And with a final smile, he was gone. Lost behind the reinforced elevator doors.

A tear rolled down his mother's face as the emphasis and finality of that last word hit her full force. Her son was gone. Possibly forever. He was about to do one of two things: kill the man who hurt Courtney, then himself, or kill the man who hurt Courtney and disappear forever. Monica prayed to God that it was the latter. _And all this for the woman he loves. Sacrificing everything he's ever known to keep her safe. I hope Courtney knows what she gave up when she left him, _Monica thought, another tear falling for her son and for the woman he so deeply loved.

Jason leaned against the back wall of the elevator, riding it to the ground floor. He released a deep breath and lowered his head, rubbing the moisture from his eyes. _Goodbye mom. Goodbye Courtney. You may never know how much I still love you. _

The elevator chimed its arrival to the lowest floor and Jason stepped out into the front foyer. With a final glance upward, he pushed through the double doors and was gone. He knew that he was about to seek vengeance for Courtney's near-death and he knew that he was leaving behind everyone he had ever loved, but somehow he felt peace. Courtney would be safe now. Safe from the danger his love brought her. And Alcazar? This would be his last act as a mob hit man. To get his revenge, not in death but to have him hover at the brink of it, as Courtney had. He would know the fear and the pain and the infinite regret. But Courtney was alive and he would keep his promise to God. The part of his life that coincided with Sonny's ended with Lorenzo Alcazar.

TO BE CONTINUED…

A/N: Is Jason gone forever? How will Courtney feel about him not saying goodbye? And will his vengeance against Alcazar be his ultimate demise? One last act to end all mobster acts. The final ploy. Will it be his end? (Does anyone else see the irony in that situation? About to stop all illegal acts, only to finally be caught? Haha…) REVIEW! PLEASE AND THANK YOU!


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Hi guys, sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I'm trying to get into a regular writing schedule. Usually, I write a bit, update, repeat, but I'm working on getting ahead of my postings so I get upload faster for you.

Still wondering who Court's gonna chose? GOOD! HAHAHAHAHA!

Please read and review, it helps me remember to update when I see the e-mail with a review come in. I generally look and go "crap! I need to update my fanfiction!" So, it does you good too! Love to all who've reviewed thus far. I truly do appreciate it.

Chapter 8 (finally)

"Courtney?" Carly knocked and entered. Courtney smiled and turned her head toward her friend.

"Hey," she said tiredly. Seeing the look on Carly's face, she frowned. Something was wrong. "What's happened?"

"You are very insightful," Carly smiled.

"Carly." She narrowed her eyes at her. Carly took a deep breath.

"Jason's gone."

"Gone?" Courtney asked quickly, eyes widening. "What do you mean 'Jason's Gone'? Gone how? He's not- I mean, he was just here. He can't be-."

"Would you let a girl finish?" Carly reprimanded before the blonde could throw herself into a fully-fledged panic.

"Sorry."

"Uh-huh…" Carly rolled her eyes. "He just- left. I don't know why… he told me to keep out of trouble, kissed me on the cheek and was gone."

"That's it? That's all he said?"

"He also said to tell you he'd meant everything he'd said to you…whatever that means… he also said to say he was sorry that he kept hurting you…and that it wouldn't happen anymore."

"Whoa, whoa, what does that mean, exactly?"

"No idea, but he called Monica 'Mom'." Courtney inhaled sharply.

"Wow…He really said that?" She paused as the impact of that simple word struck her. "Oh God, what's he going to do?"

"I don't know."

"Do you know who did this?" She waved her arm, indicating the hospital room and herself.

"Yes, Lorenzo Alcazar paid a man to shoot and miss you, to scare Sonny. You know, put him on edge. But he hit you instead."

"Did Jason know this?"

"Yes, he was the first to find out."

"Oh God…He's gonna kill Alcazar."

"I guess so."

"And then what? What's he going to do next? He said he wouldn't hurt me anymore. What does that mean? He not going to…you know… to himself? I mean, he wouldn't do that, right?" Carly didn't answer. "Right!" The panic flared inside her again.

"I'm not so sure." Carly responded quietly. Courtney's eyes grew wide as saucers. "For you? He might just do anything."

"Oh God…" Tears welled in her pretty blue eyes. "This is all my fault…. He didn't give me time to say anything or explain. He just assumed that I didn't love him anymore. Why didn't I make him listen to me?" Carly, put her hands on her friend's shoulders.

"Honey, what ARE you babbling about? You lost me after the self-blame bit?"

"Sorry," Courtney got a grip on herself and explained the conversation she'd had with Jason earlier.

"Holy-."

"Yeah."

"Jesus Christ."

"Exactly."

"Alan, he called me 'mom'." Monica was explaining to her husband in hushed tones in the break room.

"Wow."

"He's going to do something stupid…stupid and illegal. I can feel it."

"Most likely. He is, after all, a criminal." Monica slapped his arm.

"He's also your son, you insensitive jerk. You should at least pretend to care."

"Why should I? He never did." Alan said coldly. Monica slapped him again, higher up his arm this time.

"He doesn't remember anything at all during his crucial childhood years. It isn't his fault that he doesn't love parents he can't remember. For all he knows, he may not be his parents at all and we've just faked all the evidence we've given him."

"True, but still."

"'But still' nothing. He's our son and I'll protect him as best and as long as I can. With or without your help. I have to find him before he does something that will get him killed." Monica strode purposefully from the room. She'd gotten halfway down the hall when a hand grabbed her wrist.

"I'm coming with you." Alan's voice stated, twining his fingers with hers and, together, they left the hospital to try and find their son.

"So, the sulky, brooding hit man's gone? Pity." Jax's voice dripped with sarcasm. Carly walked over and slapped him soundly across the face. Jax looked slightly taken aback for a moment, before rubbing his cheek with a shit-eating grin on his face. "Violence is always the answer with this family, isn't it? No wonder Courtney wanted out. You're all insane and are Damn sure to kill each other in the end."

"Shut up Jax." Courtney's cold, angry voice snapped all of their heads around. There, in a wheelchair and looking furious but strong, sat Courtney, blonde hair falling over her shoulders as she glared at the Aussi. "Don't ever speak about my family that way."

"Courtney, this "family" nearly got you killed. Why bother defending them?"

"Because the have always been there for me. And they'll be here for me still, when you're gone. There was something forming between us, Jax, I admit that. But this experience has given me a lot to think about. It's made me consider and reconsider the way I've done things the last few months. And I regret a lot of it. And some of it I'm not sure I can fix."

"Like your marriage to the hit man?" Jax interrupted coldly.

"That, among other things." Courtney admitted. "Jax, I've loved Jason for a really long time. He dragged me out of one of the darkest times of my life and he made me feel whole again. He gave me back my pride and my confidence. And now he's gone and I hope to God he hasn't done something foolish. But right now, Jax, I want you to go. You hate my family, I know that, and you know that. So, right now, your place is not here, in this hospital, with the people you can't stand. So, please, just leave."

Jax gaped at her, unwilling to believe the words he'd just heard. She was forcing him out. She was pushing him away. How the hell did this happen? What did Jason have that he didn't? A gun and a license to kill?

"I'm going to fight for you, Courtney. I won't let Jason Morgan have you again without a fight." With that, he picked up the pair of crutches he'd been given and swung away. Courtney sighed. Somehow, she didn't doubt that he had spoken honestly. Well, if Jase was dead, it wouldn't be much of a fight, now would it?

TO BE CONTINUED...

A/N: I know it's kinda short. I'm working on that, really. Please R&R, it makes me happy and in the writing mood. : )


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